My First Post May 15, 2017
I was born in the month May and I am turning 54 this year. So far, it’s been a pretty regular life which included my work, and my favorite pass times like reading, meditating and practicing mindfulness. This year, however, I want to do something different like sharing my experiences and insights with others and learning from their writings. I intend to read a lot of blogs which I find interesting.
I type really slow and my daughter smiled and commented, “Hey mom, you really hunt and peck as you type”, hence the name…and it also reflects my slow-paced, relaxed life.
#innerpeace #meditation #mindfulness
Three of my most favourite Haiku from the Master himself.
Wrapping dumplings in
bamboo leaves, with one finger,
she tidies her hair
The old pond
A frog leaps in
The sound of water…
Won’t you come and see
the loneliness? Just one leaf
from the kiri tree.
Shame shuts down the growth and learning centres in our brains.
This is something that parents, teachers, instructors, and trainers must know. We use shame mixed with all kinds of insults…You are not good enough…You can never learn this…You spend too much time on the net…You are wasting away your life…Your room is a mess.
The reason behind these reprimands is that maybe these will motivate the learner to work harder and show some improvement.
Not just with the others, we often use shame on our own selves. Are there things in your past that you feel you should have done differently? How many of us feel that we are not living our lives as perfectly as we planned them?
Brain scans have shown that the feeling of shame releases hormones that can shut down the learning centres in our brains. Our minds go numb and blank. We are more likely to give up rather than focus our attention on the task in front of us.
Shame never works.
So, what works?
Kindness works. Kindness floods the brain with dopamine which can turn on those learning centres again helping the learners to show better results.
We also need to be kind to ourselves. Only kindness to our own selves can give us the courage to look back at things in our past that we are not very proud of. Also, with kindness, we can accept our present as the best versions of ourselves.
So when parents and teachers try to make children feel ashamed for their under-achievements, it is just for their own satisfaction. It serves to release their own anger and disappointment. It does absolutely nothing for the receiver.
Try giving kind attention to see the positive changes.
All she had to do was to open her mouth and say-
-Hey Heathcliff, can I get you something?
-Looking for something Heathcliff?
-Oh look Cathy, Heathcliff has just walked in (and now sitting behind you listening to your idiotic ramblings)
-Take my shoe Heathcliff and hit me over my head with it so that Cathy will know that you are here.
But what did she do instead? Nothing!!!
Kept quiet and set off a series of events that would destroy so many lives.
On this Father’s Day, I can recall the best birthday I’ve ever had because of his presence and the gift that he brought with him.
I was at my Nana’s house. A beautiful village…up in the hills
It was my birthday but everyone was distracted. There was a wedding that day in the family. That’s why we were there. My dad couldn’t come because he was busy with his work. I wasn’t very happy about the whole thing.
I was sitting at a table looking down, sulking and ignoring everyone and feeling kind of sad. I look up and saw my dad holding a gift for me. He had come just for my birthday. I snatched the pretty box from his hands and tore it open. There was this dainty blue frock with frills, ribbons
Thanks, dad for these memories. The gift still makes the most blissful picture in my mind. I pray that you have a long, healthy and happy life.
Happy Father’s Day!
You are gone
I retrace your steps on the street
And in my mind
I stand at the spots where you paused
to take a call
and where I used to wait
I can imagine you walking
I’m a nervous wreck
You are passing by now
You say hello and I just manage
You’re walking away now
I’m hoping that you’d turn
give me another look
You keep walking
I’ll keep waiting
The mind wanders out of control. It is comparable to muddy water. Let it rest for long enough and everything floating in it slowly begins to settle down. The water becomes clean, clear and still.
We have random thoughts, feelings, ideas, problems and their solutions flashing across our minds at lightning speed. All this leaves us in a confused and stressed out mess. Our mind takes us either back into the past or future.
According to Judson Brewer, a research scientist, when we are not doing anything, in particular, the default mode of our mind take over and it starts to wander away from where we are. By practicing mindfulness we can be more and more in the present and see things as they are.
By practicing mindfulness we can be more and more in the present and see things as they are.
Be in the present but without judging.
Try not to think about whether you like something you see or you don’t or how it could be improved.
Just be observant
Just be there…
Working away on our laptops, desktops, tablets and smartphones with our eye red and watery, our minds ready to explode and our chests caved in, resulting in shallow breathing, we know that we are racing towards disaster. But there alway that one more email to be sent or a few more words to be added to that report.
Stop all that and just take a break. Close your eyes, gently clasp your fingers behind your neck and slowly tilt your head up towards the ceiling. Hold for 10 seconds and bring your head and hand back down. Open your eyes and look at something at distance of at least twenty feet for twenty seconds. Do this every twenty minutes.
Yeah…yeah… we all know this as 20-20-20, but how many of us practice it regularly while gazing at screens for long hours. If you could just stand up and take a few steps around the room, just to get the circulation of blood in your legs going; nothing like it.
You will feel so much better at the end of the day and end up with doing much more work.
Why should you meditate when everything in your life is going fine. After all, it’s tough, time-consuming and energy-sapping. Also, there are much easier and fun ways to relax.
The problem is that the happiness, joy, and calm that we feel do not last for long. There will always be that Monday morning to start the cycle of stress again. With the practice of mindful meditation, you learn to react to everything that happens around you in a balanced way.
For a quick start, just choose a convenient time, a place, and a position.
Sit on a comfortable chair or on the floor with a cushion to keep you comfortable, close your eyes and start paying attention to your breath.
The air entering your nostrils, your chest expanding and finally, it’s exit from your nostrils.
Why MeditateYour mind will run every second in different directions. Just bring it back. Every time you do that your mind is becoming stronger.
Start with just 3 minutes and add a minute to your practice every day till you reach up to 15 minutes. That’s it for the beginners. There is no major goal to be achieved. The practice is the goal. Enjoy!